Let's be real.

There is already a lot of advice out there about sex, intimacy and relationships. Some of it is brilliant. Some of it makes me wonder whether the person giving it has ever actually been in a real relationship, had an awkward sexual moment, lost their confidence, overthought absolutely everything or had their body decide it simply wasn't playing along that day.

Because intimacy isn't neat. People aren't neat. Relationships definitely aren't neat.

And that is exactly why I wanted to create this podcast.

I wanted somewhere we could talk properly about the things that actually happen behind closed doors. The questions people are embarrassed to ask. The confidence wobbles. The pressure. The desire differences. The awkward conversations. The things we think everybody else somehow has figured out.

And those moments where you quietly think, is it just me?

Usually, it isn't.

Why I created Explore More Intimacy

I created Explore More Intimacy because I wanted to make conversations around intimacy feel more normal.

Less shame... less judgement... less pretending.

More honesty, more curiosity, more understanding of what is actually happening in our bodies, our relationships and our heads.

Over the years, I've spoken to so many men, women and couples about intimacy, pleasure, confidence, connection and relationships, and one thing has become really obvious to me.

The question somebody asks is often only half of what is really going on.

Someone might ask me, "How do I last longer?" But underneath that question there can be so much more going on. Am I disappointing my partner? Am I good enough? Is she comparing me to somebody else? Why does my body feel out of my control?

Someone else might say, "My partner never initiates anymore." But underneath that might be, do they still want me? Are they attracted to me? Have we lost something?

And somebody else might say, "I can orgasm alone but not with my partner." Again, the answer isn't always simply technique. Sometimes it is pressure. Sometimes it is overthinking. Sometimes it is not knowing how to explain what feels good. Sometimes it is just not feeling relaxed enough to let go.

That is the stuff I love exploring.

Because intimacy is very rarely just about what somebody is physically doing.

There is usually something deeper going on.

So where does Alex come in?

This is where the podcast started to get really exciting for me.

Alex and I came together through our work in the intimacy space, and our conversations just worked.

We don't have identical perspectives, and I wouldn't want us to.

I bring my perspective as the creator of Explore More Intimacy and from years of listening to what this community is actually struggling with, asking about and wanting more of.

Alex brings a male perspective and his own work as a sex and intimacy coach, particularly around performance pressure, confidence, anxiety and the impact all of that can have on intimacy and connection.

And that difference is exactly why I think it works.

I might hear one thing in a question. Alex might hear something completely different.

Sometimes we agree instantly. Sometimes one of us says something and the other goes, hang on, I hadn't thought about it like that.

I genuinely love those moments.

Because that is real life.

Two people can experience exactly the same situation completely differently.

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Who is Alex?

Alex is a sex and intimacy coach who has a real understanding of performance anxiety, confidence and the way pressure can affect intimacy.

What I like about the way he approaches these conversations is that he doesn't reduce everything down to, "Just relax," or, "Stop overthinking."

Because if anxiety worked like that, we would all be sorted.

He understands that what is happening in somebody's head can have a very real impact on what happens in their body.

That gives us a really useful perspective when we are talking about things like erection difficulties, ejaculation control, sexual confidence, fear of disappointing a partner and the pressure to perform.

And then I can bring another side into that same conversation.

What might their partner be experiencing? What helps? What accidentally makes the pressure worse? How do we create intimacy that doesn't depend on somebody's body behaving perfectly every single time?

That is the kind of conversation I wanted this podcast to have.

Learn more about Alex →

Why two perspectives matter

Men and women are constantly being given advice about each other.

What men want. What women want. What turns her on. What makes him feel confident. What she supposedly needs. What he supposedly needs.

And yes, there are patterns and there are useful things we can learn.

A lot of problems in relationships happen because we assume we know what the other person is thinking.

We fill in the gaps... usually badly.

She doesn't want sex because she doesn't fancy me.

He lost his erection because he isn't attracted to me.

She didn't orgasm because I wasn't good enough.

He never initiates because he isn't interested anymore.

Sometimes those assumptions are completely wrong, sometimes there is a little truth in them, and sometimes the actual answer is something neither person has said out loud yet.

That is why I love having two voices in the podcast. We can pull things apart. We can challenge the obvious answer. We can ask, what else might be happening here?

And no, we won't always agree

Thank Goodness.... how boring that would be.

I don't want a podcast where Alex says something and I just nod along politely. And I definitely don't want him doing that with me.

Sometimes we will agree completely, or maybe one of us will see something from a completely different angle...

or one of us will say something that makes the other rethink the situation, that is the whole point.

Just allowing two different perspectives into the same conversation.

Because that is what relationships are.

Two people can both care. Both want things to work. Both have good intentions. And still experience the same situation completely differently.

What are we actually going to talk about?

Pretty much the things so many of us think about but don't always know how to talk about.

We'll talk about performance anxiety, erections, ejaculation control, orgasm, sexual confidence, different levels of desire, porn, initiating intimacy, feeling rejected, feeling unwanted, communication, body confidence, reigniting connection and all of those other things that tend to sit quietly in people's heads because they don't always know how to bring them up.

And yes, there will absolutely be practical conversations too because those conversations matter too.

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Your questions are a huge part of this

This is probably one of my favourite parts of the podcast.

I don't want Alex and me sitting down every week deciding what we think you need to hear.

I want to know what you actually want us to talk about.

The things you are curious about. The things you are worried about. The things happening in your relationship. The stuff you have Googled at 1am and still don't feel like you got a proper answer to.

You can send us your questions directly through our dedicated podcast Instagram page.

You don't need to write an essay. You don't need to make it sound clever or polished.

Just tell us what is going on.

Something as simple as, "Can you talk about why I struggle to stay hard with my partner but not alone?" or "Why do I never feel like initiating even though I love my partner?" is enough.

We can take it from there.

And your question might actually become one of the conversations you hear on the podcast.

Ask Kat + Alex a question on Instagram →

No judgement. No pretending.

This part matters to us.

We don't want Explore More Intimacy to become another place that makes you feel like you are failing some test.

Because I don't think intimacy should feel like another thing we have to perform perfectly.

The whole point of Explore More Intimacy has always been exploring more. And I think that is one of the healthiest ways we can approach intimacy.

Learn more about Kat + Explore More Intimacy →

Come and join us

If you have followed Explore More Intimacy for a while, thank you. Genuinely.

This podcast feels like such a natural next step for everything I have been building through this community.

Except now there are two microphones, two perspectives and a lot more room to actually talk things through.

So come and join us.

Explore More Intimacy with Kat + Alex is available now on Spotify.

Real questions. Honest conversations. Practical insight. No judgement. No pretending.

And probably the occasional moment where one of us says something and you think...

Ohhh... that's me.

Listen to Explore More Intimacy on Spotify →

Got something you want us to talk about?

Follow our dedicated Explore More Intimacy Podcast Instagram page and send Alex and me a DM with your question.

Your question could become one of our next conversations.

Follow the Podcast + Ask Us a Question →

Kat
Creator & Founder of Explore More Intimacy